Forgotten*

I lack the desire to lift my head

The numbing pain never announces its presence

I sit alone and fade instead

I guess love shouldn't have to make sense

I can't even grip the pen to write

Every word becomes mechanical motion

I can't see to focus, try as I might

Instead I'll drown in this merciless ocean

This sting, inflicted like before...

I thought it had healed away

I don't want to hurt anymore.

I don't know what else to say.

I'm longing for comforts touch,

Desperate for embrace.

Tell me, do I ask too much?

Again, I bury my tear stained face.

Take my hand!

Someone, please!

Your thoughts are more numerous than sand...

But have You forgotten me?

Fortress Falling*

I see past your eyes

Into an undone man

Who still has to realize

Whatever you cannot, He can

I see a mighty pillar

With one too many cracks

Hiding in shadows creeps the killer

Its target is what he lacks

I see a Titan

He stumbles to his knees

He's fading and he's frightened

But he won't make his final pleas

I see a tower

Swaying in the storm

He knows where to find the power

By doubt, he's shattered and he's torn

I see an angel

In flight, he lost his wings

In the distance he sees the candle

But he reaches for other things

I see you

As he does, as you are

No matter where you run to

He's never behind too far

Why does he pursue you?

Why keep up the chase?

Maybe He longs to make you new

To dry your tears and touch your face.

Maybe He has strength to match your own

And give you all you need

Maybe you've never been left alone

Through all the tears you bleed

Maybe it is up to you

How your story goes

Only He can see it through

And the ending, only He knows

I see into you

I see you as a man

And in every single season new

Whatever you cannot, He can.

My heart is heavy with one too many things
My head is pondering what tomorrow brings
Thoughts on love and a beautiful illusion
A moment of you has spurned my confusion
My hand can still feel your power's hold
My lips still remember despite the bitter cold
Distorted ideals put to paper are made to rhyme
Childlike musings have gone, and buried next time
Stand at the door of all that I am and know
You take a piece of me wherever you go
Has it come to this? The wanderer is reassigned
The journey is longer and the dream has been resigned
Continue for the mark, you weathered seeker
Another blow defies your pride and leaves you weaker
Don't mourn this dead, for time has been made new
Don't relent the truth that has come alive in you
Beauty will find you when you tread on broken bones
A safe fortress arises from overflowing joy He loans
Temporary desolation and your sight begins to dim
Surrender when you reflect on all you are to Him
Get off your knees, onto your feet and lift that laden head
Deep breath, take a step. "I Am the Way, beloved."

Invisible

Look at me

All you see is the wall behind

Somehow I appear transparently

Somehow my name slips your mind

They talk to me

As their eyes begin to wander

Is there someone else they see?

Then I’m left to ponder

I wave and you will look the other way

I sing but you will hear a different tune

I hear every word you seem to say

But when I speak you leave the room

I asked just one favor

One discrete request

I didn’t want to blame her

But she took my words in jest

I told him that I loved him

He said his love was mine

But he speaks of all the rest of them

So I have to take my place in line

Always the last to know

Always the first to lose

Always ready to go

Never allowed to choose

If I scream you still won’t care

If I die, just to prove a point

I’m sick of trying to get there

To get your eyes to open, to break my back and damage joint

Someday you’ll be given a new pair of eyes

Someday I won’t blend in with the backround

All the wasted times you looked away, you’ll try but you’ll despise

When I speak, even when I move, you’ll notice every tone and every sound

Capture Me

The twisting and turning never ends

Why do I keep up the fight?

I feel your hold and my will bends

When you come for me tonight

While I’m ravaged with merciless confusion

Walking faster, trying to escape from you

I never asked for this intrusion

It doesn’t matter, you see right through

My heart is racing faster now

As I free fall into you

I try to run, but I don’t know how

Can’t fight the chains drawing me to you

Trying to pry out of your grip

You won’t let go, I have no help

Try to leave and watch me trip

In the end, I only wound myself

Running gets me no where

For I can’t leave myself behind

You reach for me, yes, I’m there

How could I become so blind?

Capture me or let me go

Don’t leave me hanging on this wire

I didn’t mean for this to grow

That, to be your prisoner, is my desire

Falling back from cage to cage

Taking blows from every side

Tasting tears that quench this rage

Ancient history are tears I’ve cried

Don’t ask me what this means

Maybe someday I’ll know

Take back all familiar scenes

And leave me here before you go.

Complete Me*

Complete me. Tie up all of my loose ends. Everything I ever was and everything I will ever be falls into place right in front of me. I don’t even have to ask, but I ask anyway. Complete me. Find the missing puzzle pieces and finish the master design. My colors and shapes move and flow once the picture is put together. Complete me. Assemble to scattered pieces. Build and create me, exactly as you had me in mind. Complete me. Fill in the gaps and repair the road damage. Make me as good as new. Complete me. Everything I need and everything I cannot see. You are the glue that holds me together. Complete me.

(This is what happens when I get writers block)

Nothing flows
Nothing moves
Trying to get a grip
On thoughts out of reach
Pounding on the floodgates
No matter what, it doesn't budge
Nothing beckons
Nothing leads
Absent scribble
On college ruled paper
There's got to be something,
Anything!
Nothing comes
Nothing grows
No rhyme, no melody
No brilliant cadence
My soul...less than shallow
"Put down the pen" - sounds tempting
Nothing screams
Nothing shows
Wait, here it comes!
Never mind...false alarm
I'm done
I'm spent
But still I know... to never give up.

Keep Holding On

The changes
The stages
The faraway places
The noise
The choice
The madness, The joys
The pain
The rain
Nothing stays the same
The chance
The dance
Love and it's trance
The need
To be freed
To live and to bleed
The friends
Now and thens
Sooner or later, everything ends
To shine
To be blind
If you kill me, be kind
The spirit
Don't fear it
Get lost in the lyrics
The labels
They're hateful
It passes, be grateful
The song
Being wrong
No matter what, keep going strong.

He

(I wrote this when I was getting over a guy I really liked, this poem is kind of a "stick in there" for when I get discouraged)           

The time has come, just let go

Turn from the present, learn from the past

Embrace the truth you already know

Not everything in this life will last

Your quest for love will not end here

You're a smart girl, you can do this

Even though you feel the end of this dream drawing near

Don't forget your promise

He isn't real, he never was

It's time now, go ahead, go on                                     

Forget the times that were, because

It's over and it’s done

Let him go

Turn and fly away

Love will come back you know

Put your hope in someday

Don't hold onto what's not yours

This is not the end for you

He will find you, he'll make your heart soar

He'll be worth everything you've been through

Don't give up the dream of him

He's everything you'll need

His light will shine when all else dims

He'll make your sleeping eyes see

He'll slay the dragon, and defeat your fears

He'll come to you, he'll sweep you away

He'll stroke your face and draw you near

He'll know every word you need to hear him say

He is handsome and he's wise

He'll cover you, his lady

He'll cherish you, his prize

He wont leave you to hanging on a "we'll see" or a "maybe"

Don't ever settle for less than that

Don't give up on this

He'll be enough, you won't look back

He'll change your world with love's first kiss.

The Story of A Girl

This is the story of a girl
Who gave it all she had
And whose eyes, until now
Never looked so sad

She failed tonight.
Tripped, lost her step
She gave up the fight,
Let go of what she should've kept

Her sin has undone her,
Changed who she is
And now she must suffer
Grieve what she was, see what she's missed.

You may think this the end of her story
But it's only just begun
Her song keeps on going,
Despite what she's done

Here, He steps in
He picks her back up
Covers her sin
Tells her a story of love that's enough

"Too long you've been writing
this tale on your own.
Your legend reciting,
Of a life you don't own."

"Give me the pen.
I will keep going
Let your heart mend
My love for you, growing."

She looks up at him
Ponders his offer
Resolve wearing thin
To this unearthly Author

"Okay" she replies
She lifts up her head
"I'll abandon these lies"
She hasn't been left for dead.

And so He takes her
Chapter by chapter
Her heart beating faster
Waiting and wondering just wont satisfy her.

"Please" she begs, "Please let me see"

"No, " He says,

"Not yet, don't put you trust in what you can see,
These stories are for you to live
But to be seen only by me."

"Then how do I know what will come next?"

"That is the twist, to never expect."

Joy overflows
He's changing the plot
The end, no one knows
But she'll never be lost.

This is the story of a girl
She isn't the same
Her script's been revised
She has no more shame.